Sometimes, firsts are hard.

Writing the first post of a new blog can come with a lot of pressure. I know this firsthand because for the past three days, I’ve sat here at my desk shuffling through tabs in my browser – of which my WordPress Dashboard was among – thinking I should just get started already, but then feeling overwhelmed and skipping back to my ever-growing Amazon shopping list or to an article about bra purses on The Hairpin. Not the best of beginnings.

But today, Sunday, the snow came down in sheets outside my window, the oven breathed the sweet scent of carrots and parsnips roasting, and I, armed with the timely gift of Jenny Rosenstrach’s How to Blog: My Rules, started writing. Known for her blog-turned-book, Dinner: A Love Story, which advocates for creating satisfying and adventurous meals for families with kids – something an early-30s, childless-by-choice, queer femme might not, upon first glance, be so taken with – Jenny’s post today spoke directly to what was hindering me: worrying that everything about cooking and crafting had already been done before, and done better.

Before you roll your eyes and start with the whole cart-before-the-horse metaphor, let me offer these two points: 1) I’m an only child and 2) I’m a Virgo. Anyone who is anyone, or anyone who ever went to college and took Psychology 101 in place of a real science class (and/or took a 2-week winter term astrology class like yours truly), knows that these two pieces of information, together, make for a superstorm of perfectionism.

Things could be worse, I know. My “condition” means I have a meticulously organized jewelry drawer and a for-real Ph.D., but it also makes dipping a toe into the world of blogging – especially the carefully curated, whimsical world of cooking and crafting blogs – feel like scary stuff. But Jenny seems to always write the right thing, so I’m going forward and telling my version of things, like how to make my grandfather’s golden-fried arancini, how to properly season and care for a thrifted cast iron pan, and how to create rituals and memories with friends who become family. The key is, I think, using those that “do it better” as inspiration (my silent partners in brainstorming!) and believing in my own “special snowflake” kind of way that there’s plenty of knowledge and know-how I possess that is worth passing around the virtual table. So here’s what I envision this space to be going forward; my “mission” as Jenny suggests:

Femme Fraîche is a blog dedicated to queering domesticity. It explores the how-to’s of making a home and doing so with emphasis and intention. It covers a whole heck of a lot of cooking, some crafting, and a good deal of ruminating on what it looks like to nourish, create, and love the family, community, and life chosen for today and made in anticipation of tomorrow. Femme Fraîche believes in and is inspired by the working sass, the homespun, and the pretty. 

Oh, and cats. It is definitely inspired by cats.